Pleasantly Settled

With senior year looming, my daughter secured her license just one week before school started. As parents, we weren’t keen on letting her drive that first week, especially knowing the traffic craziness that happens during drop-off and pick-up on those initial days. So I rode shotgun the first few days and monitored her comfort level. Attentive and confident, I thought she did fine. And truth be told, I knew she would fare better if Mom wasn’t in the car, my foot on the imaginary brake and body leaning away from the curb. So on Thursday, after we arrived home from picking up her brother at middle school, our daughter made a case to her Dad and I that she should drive herself on Friday.

“I have to go to work, and Mom has to pick up brother and take the dog to the vet.” She made a good argument, but I had already planned for the school/work/vet shuffle. Eventually, my husband and I acquiesced to her plea.

The next morning, with backpack, work clothes and keys in hand, I followed daughter out to the car. She opened the car door and handed me the newspaper that I had left on the seat; I considered the completed crossword and how it would be the last we wordsmithed together while waiting for my son to emerge from middle school. Only one of us would need to pick him up now. I went around to the back of the car and opened the hatch, retrieving a bottle of suntan spray that could roll around and distract her from the drive.

“You’ll unhook the wallet from the lanyard right?” I asked, foreseeing another possible distraction on her five-mile drive.

“I’ll configure it,” she assured me.

I was certain I heard her thinking just go away Mom, so I made my way toward the front door and loitered there, I even opened the mailbox knowing full well that it was empty. Listening for the sounds…I heard the engine, the car being shifted into drive, and then the brake suppressed to stop it from rolling. Finally, my daughter maneuvered the car out of the driveway and on to the court.

I didn’t expect her to look, but was given a nice surprise when my daughter turned and waved. I watched then, as she turned back to face the road. And my eyes followed the car until it moved out of sight. I took a deep breath and a strong sense of pride enveloped me. Back inside, a text message came through from one of the Moms in our kids’ original playgroup, with a photo of the five 4 year olds. ‘Good luck to all as they begin their senior year! May their test scores be high, the college applications easy, and their new adventure amazing!’ I couldn’t have said it better myself.

When I finally got to shower this afternoon, I kept thinking about the tiny Golden book I enjoyed reading to the kids when they were little. It was called Big Bird’s Busy Day and it went through a day in the life of one of Sesame Street’s main characters, depicting Big Bird’s important activities.

With all of the activities today, I felt like Big Bird myself. After getting the kids off to school, I went grocery shopping and then came home and made both a homemade dessert-baked chocolate zucchini bread and dinner-my favorite Alton Brown’s Mac n’ Cheese recipe. I ironed a shirt in preparation for Child #2’s honor roll ceremony and hoped he would get time to do his homework between guitar and orthodontist appointments. I was thankful that Child #1 got a ride home from her track meet.

Akin to Big Bird’s “Quiet Time,” I am so very grateful I was able to get a walk and meditation in this morning. My centering activities fuel me so that I can be fully engaged and stay calm throughout the hustle and bustle of the day. More importantly, I am thankful and so very proud of my children for being able to juggle all of their activities with accomplished gusto, especially when an unexpected event gets added to the mix.

I saw the notorious dancing baby in a social media feed this week and was reminded of the legal dramedy Ally McBeal, that ran on t.v. from 1997 through 2002. I always got a kick out of the main character when she boogied around to theme songs along with the baby dancing in the wings, highlighting the tick tock of her biological clock.

As I mentioned in my last blog, there are many tunes that soothe my soul. Penning my memoir can get pretty intense; it’s an emotional roller coaster fraught with extreme peaks and valleys. Sometimes I want to give up, but then I get encouraged when I listen to the lyrics of a tune, like these words written by Sara Bareilles: “And since your history of silence won’t do you any good, did you think it would?/Let your words be anything but empty/Why don’t you tell them the truth?”

The words of “Brave” resonate with me because the essence of my project is to reconcile with my past through my written words, to accept the adolescent experiences full of thorns and scrapes, as part of my life’s journey. Living those events brought me to the place of gratitude where I am today; a life filled with love, enriched by my husband and children, extended family, and friends.

Many songs were danced to throughout the course of the Ally McBeal series, but the show’s main song was called “Searchin’ My Soul” by Vonda Shepard, a theme that has taken precedence this past semester while I’ve worked on my masters project. “One by one, the chains around me unwind/Every day now I feel that I can leave those years behind.”