In honor of Randy…

It feels wrong, like my step brother passing is somehow not part of God’s plan. Two teenagers and two youngsters were not supposed to lose their Dad, and neither was his loving wife. Now she is a grieving widow left to raise her 7-year-old twins alone. It feels wrong. Why is it God, that you divert from a plan that seems on track, and for some strange reason take the good ones, the ones that are still so full of life, and it appears their work here on earth is unfinished? Randy had so much more to give.

This is that part of the grieving process that no one can ever be prepared for, that roller coaster of emotions that sends us to the depths and then, after it seems we’ve exhausted all of our tears, we come out fighting mad, angry at a God that’s supposed to be just. It’s hard to call that divine. Then in times of tea and calmness, or in my case, 3am cream-of-brown-sugar-wheatness, you think about the signs… those signs that make you ponder a loss differently. What was it that this person brought to the world? What was it that you can learn from a person who was so good that he, at a time was a Marine who would have done anything to fight for his country?

Yes, he was good, and I honor him through the sign that he left this world on his mother’s birthday. It’s a sign to me that he was leaving his children to be loved in the comfort and safety of their own mothers’ arms, and was going to rest and be with his mother, whom he loved with all his heart. I’m sure he left his children and wife with many wonderful memories that they will cherish, and I hope they feel comforted in knowing how much he loved them. For me, those are memories of a father, son, brother, and friend who had deep respect and love for his family. He graciously shared his Mom with my Dad and me, and I am forever grateful that they helped mold my Dad into a kinder loving person and father.  RIP brother.

About Lynne

I am a wife, mother of two and a memoirist. I recently received an M.F.A. in Creative Writing from Albertus Magnus College. I am a suicide prevention crisis counselor and volunteer coordinator for a non-profit with a mission to ending domestic violence. Pleasantly Settled was created to blog musings and observations from Pleasanton, California after I moved here with my family from Connecticut in 2012.
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One Response to In honor of Randy…

  1. Jen chaudry says:

    That’s so sad but I’m glad you shared it, hugs 💔💔

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